


Reunion

by Freyme



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aged-Up Character, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternia-Focused, F/F, F/M, Troll Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 08:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyme/pseuds/Freyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After disappearing without a trace for sweeps to avoid a culling, Karkat Vantas returns home to find that things aren't the way they were when he left them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: You Probably Don't Even Remember Me

 

 

––carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC}-– 

CG: HEY.  
CG: ARE YOU THERE?  
CG: I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT I MIGHT AS WELL CHECK.  
CG: EVEN IF I'M FULLY FUCKING AWARE HOW MUCH OF A LONG SHOT THIS IS.  
CG: AND TRUST ME, I KNOW! I'M NOT AN IDIOT! I KNOW WHEN IT ALL COMES DOWN TO IT, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO EVER SEE THIS.  
CG: OKAY, SMELL THIS.  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.  
CG: …  
CG: YEAH, THAT WAS STUPID. SORRY. ANYWAY.  
CG: FUCK, WHO AM I KIDDING? THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME.  
CG: FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU'VE CHANGED TROLLTAGS HALF A DOZEN GODDAMN TIMES BY NOW.  
CG: MAYBE YOU STOPPED USING TROLLIAN SWEEPS AGO! MAYBE THERE'S BEEN THIS “NEW AND IMPROVED” BULLSHIT OF A CHAT CLIENT RELEASE, AND I'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND IN THE FUCKING DUST!  
CG: MAYBE EVERYONE USES HOLOGRAPHIC FUCKING WRISTBANDS OR SOME OTHER SCIENCE FICTION SHITLINED TRANSMISSION DEVICE NOW BECAUSE IT'S THE ~~FUTURE!!~~ NOW AND I CONVENIENTLY MANAGED TO MISS THE MEMO, AND HERE I AM, REPEATEDLY BASHING MY CARTILAGE NUB INTO THE DESK HERE BECAUSE I'M LEFT BEHIND IN THE FUCKING DUST!  
CG: WOW, THIS IS STUPID.  
CG: THIS MIGHT WIN THE PRIZE FOR STUPIDEST BULLSHIT IDEA THAT'S EVER SECRETED OUT OF THE NOXIOUSLY DECAYING HEAP OF BURNING MUSCLEBEAST SHIT WHERE MY THINK PAN LIKES TO SHOP FOR IDEAS.  
CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO FUCKING SAY IF I CAN EVER ACTUALLY MANAGE TO CONTACT YOU!  
CG: IF I EVEN GOT THAT FAR WITHOUT FUCKING UP MASSIVELY.  
CG: YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ME.  
CG: THAT'S NOT ME WHINING IN SOME UNDERHANDED ATTEMPT TO GARNER MYSELF SOME SELF PITY.  
CG: THAT'S ME BEING REALISTIC.  
CG: IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO RESPOND!  
CG: I DON'T KNOW.  
CG: I JUST  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.  
CG: I'VE BEEN REDUCED TO BABBLING AT MYSELF OVER HERE LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT.  
CG: YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS.  
CG: SMELL THIS.  
CG: WHATEVER.  
CG: I'M DONE.  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU EVER GET THIS, JUST  
CG: DELETE IT AND DON'T GIVE IT A FUCKING SECOND THOUGHT.  
CG: THAT'S IT, I GUESS.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]--


	2. There Were Some Things That Came Up

It had been nearly a week, and Karkat still hadn't gotten used to living in his own hive again. As familiar as it all was- the layout, the gentle curves of his old recuperacoon, the view of the surrounding lawnring out the front windows- it was strange for it all to be more than an old memory. It had been a surprise to find it unoccupied. Suspicious enough, even, that he had worried it might be some kind of a trap.

And yet here he was, days later, with no sign of a culling fork being brandished in his direction in sight. There was sweeps-old food that had been left in the thermal hull. He had taken care to discard that shortly after getting back. The sopor slime that had been left in his recuperacoon had unsurprisingly gone rancid, so he had switched that out too. He left all the stupid posters that had still been hanging up. They held a nostalgia to them that he wasn't sure if he was willing to let go of just yet.

Now he sat at his old desk in a chair that was smaller than he had remembered, head propped up on one arm and staring idly at the blank screen of his computer. It was some mix between paranoia and embarrassment that had kept him from logging back on for the last few days. He almost didn't want to know whether he had been replied to or not; whether it would be a relief or a colossal disappointment should he had not been successful.

A knock on the door jolted him from his thoughts. He stood, panicking, heartrate jumping until he was about sure he could hear it reverberating against the walls of the respiteblock. 

Calm down, Karkat. Just calm the fuck down. If it was someone who was here to kill you and they knew you were here already, would they even bother knocking? Wouldn't they just have broken the fucking door down?

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths. He'd just wait it out. Chances were, he figured, it wouldn't be someone that he'd especially want to see. Or someone who he'd necessarily want to know he was here.

Unless...

A sudden possibility sparked, bringing his heart rate right back the hell up to where it had been just moments ago. He knew he shouldn't be getting his hopes up, but the 'what-if' factor was starting to feel pretty goddamn tantalizing.

He would just check, he decided. Get a glimpse of who might be outside, and if it was someone he didn't want to see, he could just pretend he wasn't here. Go hide out in a closet for a few hours until he could be sure any danger that might be presented had passed.

He hurried to the front of his hive as quietly as he could manage, attempting to somehow get a view of the porch without making it obvious he was at a window. It was more difficult than he had anticipated, and he cursed his younger self for making that mistake when he had designed this hive. Karkat's paranoia was kicking in again, and he was about ready to give up and go hide, when a voice came from the other side of the door.

“K4RK4T? 4R3 YOU 1N TH3R3?”

He froze, hand pressed against the wall, breath catching in his throat. 

“1 C4N SM3LL YOU B3H1ND TH3 W4LL, K4RK4T.”

Karkat swallowed hard, trying to force himself to calm down. There was no backing out of this at this point.

“YEAH. I'M HERE. JUST... JUST HOLD ON.”

And when he opened the door, there she was. Not exactly as he had remembered her being-- as likely as that would have been. She was taller and slimmer, her body fully developed instead of caught in the cusp of adulthood. But it was undoubtedly her.

“H1,” she said. 

He couldn't be sure what to make of her expression, her body language.

“HEY,” he said back.

They stood like that for a long moment, facing each other in a heavy silence. When she finally spoke, her voice was sharp enough to hurt.

“WH3R3 TH3 FUCK H4V3 YOU B33N??” When he didn't answer immediately, she just kept going. “DO YOU R34L1Z3 1T'S B33N 4LMOST THR33 3NT1R3 SW33PS S1NC3 4NY OF US H4V3 H34RD FROM YOU?”

“YES, I'M PRETTY FUCKING AWARE OF THAT!-”

“-W3 4LL THOUGHT YOU W3R3 D34D. W3 F1GUR3D YOU'D B33N CULL3D 4ND YOU H4DN'T BOTH3R3D TO L3T 4NYON3 KNOW 4BOUT 1T!”

“I KNOW, TEREZI! THAT WAS KIND OF THE-”

“-YOU COULDN'T B3 BOTH3R3D TO T3LL 4NYON3 YOU W3R3 D1S4PP34R1NG, COULD YOU? COULDN'T H4V3 G1V3N 4NYON3 4 H1NT? D1D YOU JUST NOT CONS1D3R TH4T SOM3 OF US M1GHT H4V3 B33N 4 L1TTL3 UPS3T 4BOUT 1T 1F YOU JUST V4N1SH3D ON3 N1GHT?”

“WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP FOR TWO MINUTES AND LET ME TALK?” Karkat felt the blood rushing to his face; his head was spinning. This is not how he'd imagined the first few minutes of this conversation to go.

She frowned at him. “NO!” And she lunged forward, and he ducked, expecting her to throw a punch at him, but she didn't. Instead he found himself standing with her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and her face buried in his neck.

“YOU SHUT TH3 H3LL UP! 1 M1SS3D YOU, DUMMY.”  
___________________________________________________________________________

He waited to give her the whole story until they both had calmed down some. Until she had gone from going off at him with vigor he hadn't really expected to making the stupid kind of jokes she loved again. He had rolled his eyes at her, but it had been a huge relief to see her talking like normal again.

They were sitting in the front area of his hive, Karkat slouched over in his chair and trying not to be too obvious with sneaking looks in her direction, and Terezi sitting with her legs up on the chair, cocking her head coyly in his direction.

“YOUR3 NOT 4S SHORT 4S 1 R3M3MB3R YOU B31NG,” she noted, her characteristic grin returning to her face. “1 GU3SS 1 F1GUR3D TH4T NO M4TT3R HOW OLD YOU GOT, YOUD ST4Y JUST 4S T1NY 4ND 4DOR4BL3 4S YOUV3 4LW4YS B33N.”

He snorted at her, giving her a bit of a glare, but to be entirely honest, he had missed this kind of teasing. There was a familiarity to it that he realized he must have been craving over the past few sweeps.

“YEAH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW! TURNS OUT I'M NOT ACTUALLY A FUCKING MIDGET AFTER ALL. OR MAYBE LIVING IN A GODDAMN CAVE FOR A FEW SWEEPS HAD SOME MAGICAL EFFECT ON ME! CALL GAMZEE, WE'VE GOT A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE ON OUR HANDS HERE.”

Karkat had expected her to laugh, but the look she gave him instead was quizzical.

“SO YOUV3 B33N L1V1NG 1N 4 C4V3?”

“NOT EXACTLY. I MEAN, THERE'S A GOOD DEAL OF PLACES OUT THERE FOR WHATEVER HANDFUL OF KIDS MIGHT BE HIDING OUT FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER. I GUESS NO MATTER HOW MUCH PROPOGANDA MIGHT BE OUT THERE ABOUT 'EMBRACING YOUR CULLING' OR WHATEVER THE FUCK, WHEN IT'S YOU IT STARTS SOUNDING LIKE A WHOLE TON OF MUSCLEBEAST SHIT.”

Terezi paused. “1 GU3SS.” She shrugged, her expression contemplative. “YOU ST1LL H4V3N'T TOLD M3 3X4CTLY WHY YOU R4N OFF.”

Karkat sighed. “IT'S JUST THAT THERE'S... SOME SHIT ABOUT ME THAT WOULD PROBABLY GET ME OFFED IF IT GOT FOUND OUT. AND THERE WAS SOME STUFF THAT HAPPENED AND... I GUESS I GOT SCARED. SORT OF FLIPPED MY SHIT ABOUT IT. FIGURED I'D GET CAUGHT IF I ENDED UP STICKING AROUND MUCH LONGER.”

She frowned. “1 ST1LL TH1NK 1TS STUPID YOU D1DNT T3LL 4NYON3.”

“THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN KIND OF RISKY, DON'T YOU THINK? IT WOULD HAVE JUST UPPED THE CHANCES OF ME BEING FOUND.”

“1T W4S ST1LL... ST1LL STUP1D 4ND S3LF1SH TH4T YOU D1DN'T S4Y 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT 1T! YOU COULD H4V3 4T L34ST DROPP3D 4 GOODBY3 BY!” She let out an exasperated breath. “B3S1D3S. 1 WOULDNT H4V3 TOLD 4NYON3.”

Karkat didn't know what to say to that, so he just shrugged. He was getting the feeling that Terezi was trying to get him to say something or other, but, like usual, here he was in the dark as to what she was getting at.

“I DIDN'T EXPECT TO ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO GET AHOLD OF YOU,” he said after a few moments of nothing. Maybe changing the subject would work out better in his behalf than trying to explain his way out of this“IT WAS A REAL FUCKING LONG SHOT.”

“1 KNOW. TH4T W4S B4S1C4LLY 4LL YOU T4LK3D 4BOUT 1N TH4T L1TTL3 M3SS4G3 YOU S3NT M3.” She was grinning again. That was a good sign.

“YES, I KNOW, THAT SHIT I WROTE WAS PRETTY STUPID. THE POINT IS-” he swallowed, looking down at his lap. “THE POINT IS, I'M KIND OF GLAD IT WORKED.”

“D1D YOU TRY TO R34CH 4NYON3 3LS3?” 

He hesitated, then shook his head. Terezi's grin widened.

“1'M FL4TT3R3D.”

“I THOUGHT YOU'D BE A GOOD PLACE TO START. I DON'T KNOW.” Karkat could feel his cheeks getting warm and hurriedly looked away, willing his blood to not manifest itself out here in the open on his face. He thought he heard her sniff the air.

“C4N 1 T4K3 4 L1TTL3 GU3SS WH4T TH3 R34SON YOU W3NT 1NTO H1D1NG FOR W4S?” 

She was being coy again. Using that cutesy little teasing tone of voice he was surprised he remembered so well. Karkat grimaced. To be honest, it had always been only a matter of time with her. Even the precautions he had taken in not spending too much time with her in person after she had picked up her weird smelling thing weren't failproof.

“FINE.” He tried his best not to sound preemptively defeated.

“1T W4S B3C4US3 OF YOUR BLOOD, W4SNT 1T?” If Karkat were to remove Terezi's glasses, he could be fairly sure there would be a glint in her eye. “W3 4LL THOUGHT 1T M1GHT B3 SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T.”

“WHAT?” He frowned, sitting up. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU ALL THOUGHT-- I THOUGHT I DID A PRETTY FUCKING GOOD JOB OF KEEPING IT A SECRET!”

She laughed. “1F NOTH1NG 3LS3 PROV3D TH4T W4S 1T, YOUR L1TTL3 OUTBURST JUST NOW D1D.”

“OH, FUCK YOU!” Karkat shot her a glare. A pause. He looked down at his lap again. “...HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?”

“1 H4V3NT R34LLY KNOWN FOR SUR3 UNT1L JUST NOW. BUT 1M 4 PR3TTY GOOD GU3SS3R, K4RK4T. YOUV3 4LW4YS B33N SO D3F3NS1V3 4BOUT 1T, 4ND 1TS NOT L1K3 YOUD H4V3 MUCH 3LS3 CULL-WORTHY 4BOUT YOU. 1 JUST PUT TWO 4ND TWO TOG3TH3R!”

“RIGHT, RIGHT...” He sighed again, frowning, more to himself than anyone else. “SO. NOW YOU KNOW. I'M A FUCKED UP MUTANT FREAK.”

She smiled widely at that. “4 FUCK3D UP D3L1C1OUS SM3LL1NG MUT4NT FR34K!”

There was another pause, as Karkat cursed his inability to draw up suave comebacks without skipping a beat. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he was getting the urge to impress her with something-- anything really. To be honest, his conversation skills probably weren't making the grade.

“YOU STILL LIVING IN THAT TREE?” He finally asked. God damn his voice for cracking. What was he, six sweeps old?

Terezi laughed and shook her head, the curl in her hair bouncing as she did so. “1T W4S 4 GOOD TR33. BUT 1 GU3SS 1 SORT OF OUTGR3W 1T.”

“REALLY?” He frowned. “SORRY, BUT IT'S A LITTLE FUCKING WEIRD PICTURING YOU LIVING SOMEWHERE THAT ISN'T WREATHED IN PLUSH ANIMAL CARCASSES YOU'VE DISMEMBERED.”

That got another laugh out of her, but it was only a moment before she was quiet again, as if thinking over what to say about it.

“4S FUN 4S 1T W4S L1V1NG UP TH3R3 SURROUND3D BY SHOWS OF JUST1C3, TH3R3 W3R3 SOM3... TH1NGS TH4T C4M3 UP.”

“LIKE?”

“C3RT41N P3OPL3 1 N33D3D TO ST4RT K33P1NG T4BS ON.”

He frowned. “LIKE WHO? I'M NOT FOLLOWING WHATEVER THE HELL YOU'RE GETTING AT.”

She sighed. “THR33 SW33PS3 1S 4 LOT OF T1M3 FOR SH1T TO CH4NG3, K4RK4T. M4YB3 TH3R3'S SOM3 OF 1T 1TD B3 B3TT3R TO PUT OFF DR4GG1NG UP FOR 4 WH1L3.” Terezi stood, rolling her shoulders back and stretching. “4ND 1 SHOULD Go 4NYW4Y. 1TLL B3 L1GHT OUTS1D3 1N 4 F3W HOURS.”

“WAIT--” He stood, frowning, taking a step forward in her direction. “WE CAN TALK LIKE THIS AGAIN LATER, RIGHT?” Goddammit, Terezi! There was so much more needed to be said.

She looked over her shoulder at him, shooting him a grin. “DURR. DONT B3 STUP1D, K4RK4T.” Another few steps and she was at the door. She hesitated, giving herself a moment to apprehend him. “DO YOU HON3STLY TH1NK 1 COULD H4V3 FORGOTT3N 4BOUT YOU?”


	3. What The Hell Were You Trying To Pull?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW

“iit'2 funny. even though ii wa2n't 2o 2ure that you were dead thii2 whole tiime, per2ay, ii had a feeliing ii wouldn't end up 2eeiing you agaiin.”

Sollux leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, rolling his shoulders and giving that stupid grin that manifested itself whenever he told an especially bad joke. Karkat didn't even humor him with an eyeroll.

“HOW THE HELL DID IT EVEN HAPPEN? THEY DIDN'T JUST... BURN THEMSELVES OUT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK, DID THEY?”

When Karkat had arrived at Sollux's hivestem earlier that night, it had been a bit of a shock to see the change in his appearance. Though his friend's eyes had really always weirded him out- not even the solid-colored sclera and heterochroma as much as the feeling that there was something flickering behind them- he certainly wasn't used to seeing them gone completely. He figured it was in bad taste for him to be staring, but Karkat's eyes apparently had this nasty tendency to be drawn to the empty sockets whenever they weren't actively engaged in looking at something else.

“that wa2n't even iit,” Sollux said in response to his question. “there wa2 a whole lot of weiird 2hiit they diid, but iit wa2 never 2omethiing that hurt them. 2ome of iit 2ure made my head hurt liike hell, but iit wa2n't my eye2' fault ii went bliind.”

Karkat cringed. Unfortunately enough, he could feel his curiosity winning over the part of him that was pretty sure he'd puke at the details. “SO IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE?”

Sollux laughed, a short and awkward burst of sound through his nose. “funny 2tory, actually. remember ampora? after he and vrii2ka broke up, he wa2 totally comiing on two me liike ii wa2 2ome 2ort of fated ki2me22ii2. totally bat2hiit about iit. wouldn't back down when ii told hiim ii wa2n't fuckiing iintere2ted.”

“SO HE...?” Karkat trailed off, grimacing. Not entirely sure if he really wanted to know.

Sollux shrugged. “he wa2 probably hopiing ii'd try two take revenge on hiim and iit all would e2calate iinto 2omethiing all hot and heavy. eheheh, fat chance.” He paused, reflectively. “knocked out 2ome of my teeth two. whiich actually wa2 pretty great becau2e ii could talk like a normal per2on for once iin my pathetiic liife untiil tho2e grew back iin.”

“UGH.” Karkat winced again, his stomach knotting. God damn his squeamishness. And the fact that eyes and teeth were especially sensitive subjects. “OH, I SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO HIM SOMETIME SOON. SEE HOW HE'S DOING AND SHIT.”

“good luck wiith that, KK,” Sollux answered, fingers drumming against his knee. “ii haven't heard from hiim iin 2weep2. ii don't thiink really anyone ha2, lately. he kind of lo2t iit over the whole ordeal wiith FF.”

“FF?”  
“feferii. riight, that all wa2 after you got the fuck out of here, wa2n't iit.” 

“PROBABLY.” Karkat frowned. He hadn't known Feferi all that well, and couldn't recall whether he had ever talked to her directly before. Most of what he knew about her came from other people, and most of 'other people' meant 'basically just Eridan.' “WHAT HAPPENED?”

“well, 2he and ii had a... thiing goiing on, 2ort of.”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “WHAT KIND OF THING?”

“iit wa2 redrom, ii gue22,” Sollux shrugged. “and probably the only rea2on why that priick notiiced me. He got jealou2 and 2hiit happened.”

“HUH.” Karkat frowned. He hadn't necessarily been expecting that. “YOU AND FEFERI, THEN? NO MORE MOPING OVER ARADIA?”

“about that...” Sollux laughed again, but it wasn't a happy sound. Karkat couldn't quite determine whether it was sadly amused or just plain sad. “yeah, that wa2 kiind of what iit wa2 for a whiile. and iit wa2 pretty fuckiing awe2ome, two be hone2t. but FF'2 gone now, 2o...”

“WHAT?” Karkat sat straight up. “SHE DIED?”

Sollux shrugged. “probably. apparently the empre22 diidn't want any heiire22e2 pre2entiing competiition. but who know2? maybe 2he'2 2tiill out there. ii can't know for 2ure. The voiice2 2topped beiing a thiing after ii went bliind, 2o ii wa2n't able to hear her liike how iit wa2 wiith AA.”

“SHIT...” Karkat shook his head. “SHIT, I'M SORRY TO HEAR IT. THAT'S FUCKED UP.”

“iit'2 okay, 2eriiou2ly.” Sollux gave a half-hearted smile. “ii've gotten 2ome tiime two get over iit. 2o ii'm ju2t doiing what ii can wiith the tiime ii have left before ii end up kiickiing iit two.”

“COULD YOU NOT TALK LIKE THAT?” Karkat glared at him, even though he knew his eyes would only be met with empty sockets. “I MEAN, I KNOW YOU'RE ALL INTO THIS DOOM AND GLOOM SHIT, BUT BEING LIKE THAT IS COMPLETELY FUCKING IDIOTIC! I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW MAYBE YOUR 'UNTIMELY DOOM' WILL FUCKING COME UPON YOU DUE TO THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND THINKING ABOUT YOUR UNTIMELY DOOM?”

“chiill the fuck out, KK! you're beiing 2tupiid about iit agaiin. iit'2 not that biig of a deal,” Sollux snorted. “all ii'm 2ayiing i2 that ii've accepted that ii'm going two diie 2ometiime 2oon. And iit'2 goiing two happen whether ii talk about iit or not.”

“SAYS WHO?” It was pointless to argue, Karkat was well aware, but he'd rather argue than sit here and gloomily accept it all. The mood was already too morbid for his tastes.

“the prophecy wa2 riight about the bliind thiing, wa2n't iit? that'2 all i'm 2ayiing! 2o you can 2hut the fuck up about iit!”

There was a moment's pause.

“YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA BE THE BETTER GUY HERE AND SAY FINE, OKAY, WHATEVER! LET'S JUST BE DONE WITH THIS! IT'S MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK.”

Sollux paused for a moment, then grinned. Karkat tried not to notice how unsettlingly crookedly some of his teeth had grown back in.

“eheheheheh. Ii'd almo2t forgot how 2eriiou2ly worked up you'd get about 2hiit liike thii2.”

Karkat was about to snap back with a retort- an well-worn jab at Sollux's own penchant for flipping his shit at the slightest provocation. He would have too, but Sollux, apparently more amused than provoked by the resurrection of this train of conversation between them, smiled weakly and shook his head. 

“let'2 ju2t calm down for a miinute. no poiint reha2hiing an argument that 2hould have ju2t up and diied 2weep2 ago.”

Begrudgingly, Karkat let himself relax back into his chair. There was a moments pause as he let himself calm down, then another as he searched for something else to talk about.

“RIGHT. SO. WHAT ABOUT ANYONE ELSE WE USED TO TALK TO? STILL IN TOUCH WITH ANY OF THEM?”

Sollux thought for a moment, contemplatively stroking the sharp ridge of his jawbone. “ii 2tiill talk two some of them, ii gue22. iit'2 been pretty ea2y two ju2t loo2e touch a2 we've all been gettiing older. ii do talk two TZ quiite a biit though.” The eerily jagged grin was back as he heard Karkat sit up straight in his chair. “ii fiigures you'd be iintere2ted in heariing about her. not that there'2 two much two report. allthough 2he ha2 been pretty bu2y lately, what with her ki2me22ii2 and all.”

“AT LEAST SHE HASN'T GOTTEN HERSELF INTO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE--” Karkat stopped midsentence, blinking. “WAIT, KISMESSIS? WHAT?”

“eheheh, ii'm 2urpri2ed you haven't heard about iit by now.” 

Karkat stared, his hands twitching on the armrests of the chair as if they were dying to dynamically express his confusion. “SHE SURE AS HELL DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! FUCK, I JUST-- YOU'RE SERIOUS? WHO THE FUCK WITH?”

“vrii2ka. they had thii2 on-agaiin off-agaiin thiing wiith iit for a 2weep or 2o, but they've really been hiitiing iit off recently from what ii can tell-”

“VRISKA? AS IN VRISKA SERKET? THE PSYCHOTIC BITCH WITH THE GOD COMPLEX AND BODY COUNT THAT INCLUDES HER OWN GODDAMN FRIENDS?”

“ii don't get why you 2ound 2o 2urprii2ed. you ju2t lii2ted what 2ounded liike a per2onal2 ad for a dream kii2me22i22.”

“SHE- WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING WITH VRISKA?” Karkat sputtered. He could feel blood rushing to his cheeks, and instinctively covered them with the palm of a hand. “SHE'D TOLD ME BEFORE IN FUCKING CONFIDENCE THAT SHE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT- WITH HER!”

Sollux merely shrugged. “time2 change, ii gue22.” Karkat shook his head, standing.

“NO, THIS IS STUPID! SINCE WHEN ARE THEY- SINCE WHEN IS THIS ALLOWED TO BE A FUCKING THING?!?”

“ii 2tiill don't get why the fuck you're 20 worked up about thii2 all of a 2udden. but iif you have a problem wiith iit for 2ome rea2on, there'2 no poiint takiing iit up wiith me. That'2 ju2t 2hiitiing all over the corp2e of the me22enger you ju2t killed.” He shook his head. “take iit up wiith TZ.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“1T W4SN'T L1K3 1 W4S TRY1NG TO H1D3 1T FROM YOU.”

Terezi was trying to sound nonchalant- as if this was really something trivial that he was being silly to bring up like this, but Karkat noticed that she was keeping herself from facing him. And the clipped tone to her voice,not something he was at all familiar with,that wasn't helping either.

“YOU CERTAINLY DIDN'T FEEL LIKE BRINGING IT UP WHEN WE LAST TALKED. DID A LITTLE FUCKING TAP DANCE AROUND THE SUBJECT, DIDN'T YOU?” Karkat crossed his arms over his chest, not sure whether to keep his gaze inquisitively boring into the side of Terezi's head or whether to be looking down at his lap. He had compromised on alternating between the two. 

“M4YB3 WH3N W3 T4LK3D TH3N, 1 H4DN'T H34RD FROM YOU 1N SW33PS. M4YB3 TH3R3 W3R3 SOM3 MOR3 1MPORT4NT S3NT1M3NTS TH4T N33D3D 3XPR3SS1NG TH4N GO1NG OV3R TH3 D3T41LS OF MY S3X L1F3, K4RK4T!”

“YOUR-” He sputtered, shaking his head. “I NEVER SAID I WAS AFTER THE GODDAMN DETAILS! FUCK, I'D MUCH RATHER BE SPARED THE DETAILS IF AT ALL POSSIBLE! BUT THAT'S COMPLETELY FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM WANTING TO BE, I DON'T KNOW, IN THE KNOW?”

“W3LL. NOW YOU'R3 1N TH3 KNOW.” There was an ice-cold period at the end of her sentence, signaling some kind of halt to the discussion.

Karkat hesitated, grasping for words. There was a voice in the back of his head that was asking why he was even bothering. This wasn't his business. Terezi wasn't his business. He couldn't have gone off without warning for three sweeps and expected nothing about her to change and expected her to-

Her to what? The answer wasn't clear yet, and it was almost as infuriating as the rest of this bullshit.

“WHY VRISKA?” He blurted out before common sense could reign himself in. 

Terezi didn't respond vocally. She instead tilted her head slightly in his direction, a slight lift in her shoulder implying a certain level of exasperation. He shook his head, hands rising to his temples, struggling to put into words the feelings that were rising in his chest.

“I MEAN. I THOUGHT YOU'VE ALWAYS HATED HER. AND NOT THAT KIND OF HATE EITHER! THE KIND WHERE-” He bit his lip, staring at his lap as if he'd magically find what he was looking for there. “THE KIND WHERE YOU WANT NOTHING THE FUCK TO DO WITH THEM.”

Still no response, so he continued. “YOU'D COMPLAIN TO ME ALL THE TIME ABOUT HER! ABOUT HOW... HOW DESPERATE SHE WAS, AND HOW SHE TRIED TOO FUCKING HARD AND HOW-- FUCK, TEREZI, IF I HAD EVEN HYPOTHESIZED BACK THEN THAT YOU TWO WOULD END UP-- THAT THIS WOULD BE WHAT HAPPENED, YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME OFF! MORE THAN THAT, YOU WOULD HAVE DECIDED YOU WEREN'T TALKING TO ME FOR HOWEVER THE HELL LONG YOU COULD MANAGE, BECAUSE VRISKA WAS-”

He realized his voice had risen in volume past the level that was appropriate for this space. His own ears were ringing. Self conscious, he swallowed, and exhaled slowly.

“BECAUSE VRISKA WAS VRISKA.”

There was silence for an uncomfortably long period of time. Finally, Terezi bit her lip, slowly and coldly moving to face in his direction. 

“H4V3 YOU T4LK3D TO H3R 4T 4LL S1NC3 YOU'V3 GOTT3N B4CK?”

He blinked. “WHO, VRISKA? NO. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I?”

“B3CAUS3, M4YB3-” and her voice was sharp, sharp enough to cut him off completely mid-scoff. “M4YB3 SH3'S 4CTU4LLY M4TUR3D 4 L1TTL3.”

A pause, and then, almost as an afterthought. “WH1CH 1S SOM3TH1NG TH4T 4PP4R3NTLY C4N'T B3 S41D FOR SOME OF US.”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Karkat had no idea what his feelings were on this matter.

All right, to be honest, that wasn't entirely true. The air of malcontent that had been following him around for the entire week since he last spoke to Terezi wasn't that hard to identify. Neither was the pit that arose in the back of his throat should he let his mind wander. Which, for something he had sworn to himself that he just wasn't going to give a shit about anymore, seemed to be happening more and more frequently.

This was stupid, he told himself. There was no need for him to be dwelling on any of it. He was being irrational.

And yet, time after time, he caught himself. He would be browsing on his computer, doing his best to keep himself occupied, and the icon for the Trollian chat client would catch his sight from the corner of his eye. And he would log in again-- telling himself, of course, that it was all just in case someone else he had used to know would appear online-- but that never was the case. And then her trolltag would jump out at him from the list he had compiled, somehow contrasted against the otherwise identical screen names running above and below it.

And that's when the sick feeling would be back. Trailing down the back of his esophagus to settle in the core of his stomach, compressing his chest, and then forcing itself up again through his throat.

To tell himself that he couldn't identify that feeling, that he couldn't define it and match it to its proper word would be a lie. He was more familiar with this sentiment than he'd like to admit.

Maybe what he was having trouble identifying wasn't what it was, but why this jealousy was so fucking persistent.

“MY FEELINGS FOR HER AREN'T LIKE THAT,” he told himself out loud, scrutinizing his reflection in the polished surface of his desk. 

And they weren't! They couldn't be. He would know if they were. He had studied this shit! There had been hours upon hours spent, bleary eyed and running on far too little sleep, watching and rewatching whatever romance movie he could get his hands on, in search of some insight into those kind of feelings. More and more desperately entranced the longer he waited to be able to empathize. He knew the signs when a caliginous crush would begin brewing. Had watched it unfold from the first bud of seething hot hatred into the kind of dynamic people wrote stories about. And when that spark happened to him, he had told himself, he would be prepared. He would know.

And so he had kept mental checklists, waiting in queue for those feelings to arise. They never had. The checklist remained unmarked.

That's what was so baffling about it, when it all came down to it! He was broken- a mutant freak genetically incapable of feeling those natural and normal feelings. Hell, he had given up on it all sweeps ago. He couldn't be jealous with feelings that he had and would never experience. It didn't make sense.

How could it make sense?

_Because nothing can be that fucking simple, can it?_

_Not for me, anyway._

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Maybe he had gotten her upset with him.

It had been a solid two weeks now. No notifications or messages. His Trollain contact list remained a virtual wasteland.

Either Terezi was being upset and stubborn with him, or she had decided there wasn't any point in humoring him by keeping contact any longer. Karkat had narrowed it down to those two options. Or maybe it was both. It could always have been both.

The sick feeling wasn't gone. He had hoped in vain it might have vanished by this point. Gradually faded, slipping away tendril by tendril. A mistake his brain and his gut had made together. A joke.

Lately, his gut seemed to like to remind himself that it didn't consider all of this a joke.

If all it was was that Terezi was upset with him, it would be his job and his alone to fix it. She wouldn't cave. She was too stubborn for that. Karkat had gathered that much from arguments they had had in the past. It had been an entire perigee, once, before he had given in and messaged her first. She had been quick enough to forgive, once he had put himself out on a limb and apologized for just about everything he had been able to think of. He couldn't remember what the argument had been about originally, but the memory of his desperate attempt to redeem himself wouldn't be one he'd be able to live down any time soon, even now.

And to be honest, he was starting to get to that point again. That familiar desperation. 

_Damnit, Terezi. You were the one I came back for._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It hadn't been difficult to find directions to Terezi's current place of residence. Getting there wasn't any trouble either. A metropolitan area made for easier transport, and less time spent hunting through a forest.

No, the tricky part of the journey was making itself painfully clear. Karkat reached her doorstep, noting with poignancy the drab and mundane urban exterior (and wondering how much it had taken for Terezi to be convinced to move down from her tree.) He stood for a long moment, shifting his weight from foot to foot in an effort to make himself more comfortable. Once or twice he lifted a hand to knock only to retract it again before it could venture any further from his person.

All of a sudden, he was aware that there were other people around him, that he was almost certainly being judged for loitering around this doorstep, and that any direction he could take with this was going to garner him even more unwanted attention. As if on cue, a slideshow began playing in the back of his head: A Thousand Things That Could and probably will Go Wrong Here. He envisioned- quite vividly- someone investigating his strange behavior and reporting him to whatever authorities might be around (which of course would result in his death, should he be properly identified), Terezi laughing at him from the window, mocking him for his cowardice loud enough for anyone paying attention to hear him, drudging up the courage to knock on the door to find he had the wrong residence, or that Terezi wouldn't even let him in to hear him out, or to walk in on her and Vriska entangled in some sort of caliginous embrace that he would gladly have given an awful fucking lot to not be privy to, or--

Fuck this. Fuck the situation, fuck how goddamn stubborn Terezi had to be about anything and everything, fuck how stupid he could be about making her upset, and most of all, fuck how much of a shithole coward he was being right now. 

He knocked on the goddamn door.

The immediate regret at his decision washing over his nervous system didn't kick in quickly enough for him to get out of there. The door cracked opened a good deal faster than it should have reasonably been able to. (Shouldn't a blind handicap at least provide some sort of a debilitating condition in urgent times of need?) He could see her through the thin slat of light emerging between the door and the wall, arms crossed, eyebrows raised behind her glasses. And for a moment he was suddenly terrified that she wouldn't let him in, that maybe she had decided she was done with him for good, but then she spoke.

“H3Y.” The word was curt, sharp, more of an accusation than a greeting. But it wasn't a request for him to leave.

“CAN I COME IN?” He tried to sound as casual as possible, hands shoved in pockets like this was your everyday get-together. His voice betrayed him though, cracking just enough for the sound to be picked up.

There was a long, heart-attack-inducing moment where Terezi didn't react at all, aside from a cold stare looking (smelling?) him up and down. Then she moved aside, without comment, holding the door open for him to enter behind her.

The room they entered was surprisingly bare and void of color- nothing like the psychedelic headache her treehive had plastering every wall. The contrast was a bit of a shock to his senses.

“WHAT, NO CHALK ALL OVER THE WALLS? DID YOU END UP EATING YOUR WHOLE FUCKING SUPPLY?”

Karkat's attempt at humor apparently fell flat. He had hoped for at least a courtesy laugh. As much as he had complained in the past about the grating, nasal cackling that Terezi produced more often than not, it would have at least been something to fill the space. The silence that resulted instead was heavy, and the twinge in his gut had returned.

“LOOK. I GUESS I CAME OVER BECAUSE I FIGURED I SAID SOME SHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID AND I'M SORRY.”

That got a bit of a snort from her. Derisive, yes, but a reaction nonetheless.

“HOW LONG D1D 1T T4K3 YOU TO F1GUR3 TH4T ON3 OUT?”

He swallowed. “PROBABLY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE.”

She raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, lips pursed.

Dammit, Terezi. I'm practically grovelling here. Do I have to fucking beg for forgiveness?

“I SAID SORRY. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? SHOULD I BE GETTING ON MY KNEES OR SOME SHIT? BECAUSE FRANKLY, I THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING HERE!”

Her lip curled into a frown. “PROB4BLY B3C4US3 1T'S ST1LL OBV1OUS TH4T YOU DON'T G3T 1T, K4RK4T.”

“GET WHAT? I KNOW PERFECTLY FUCKING WELL THAT I WAS RUDE AND THAT IT WASN'T MY PLACE TO MAKE SOME OF THOSE COMMENTS OR WHATEVER THE SHIT. I'M NOT THAT DENSE.”

“4ND YOU'R3 DO1NG 4 GR34T JOB OF PROV1NG 1T!” She exhaled in frustration, throwing up her hands and turning to face away from it.

“MAYBE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF PLAYING THIS LITTLE GUESSING GAME YOU HAVE GOING ON HERE,” Karkat retorted, stepping in her direction. “YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO READ YOUR FUCKING MIND, PYROPE! I DON'T DO THESE KIND OF HEAD GAMES!” He glared at the back of her head, fuming. “WHY DON'T YOU DO US ALL A FAVOR AND SAVED THOSE FOR YOUR SADISTIC BITCH OF A KISMESIS, ALL RIGHT?”

She wheeled around to face him. “WOULD YOU STOP M4K1NG COMM3NTS 4BOUT US L1K3 YOU 4CTU4LLY UND3RST4ND OUR R3L4T1ONSH1P?”

“YOU KNOW, IT SURE WOULD BE GREAT TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND IT! HOWEVER, IT MAKES IT KIND OF FUCKING DIFFICULT WHEN YOU OUTRIGHT TRY AND HIDE IT FROM ME LIKE YOU DID!”

“1 D1D NOT TRY TO H1D3 1T!” She advanced on him, obviously exasperated. “YOU JUST S33 1T TH4T W4Y B3C4US3 3V3RYTH1NG H4S TO B3 4BOUT YOU, DO3SN'T 1T?”

“YES! SURE! BECAUSE THAT'S A TOTALLY VALID THING TO BRING UP RIGHT NOW AND IT MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE! OR MAYBE IT HAS THIS ~DEEP HIDDEN MEANING~ OUT THERE THAT I CAN'T CATCH BECAUSE I'M APPARENTLY TOO FUCKING DENSE TO GET IT! IT SURE IS GREAT BEING COMPLETELY UNDERVALUED AND UNDERESTIMATED HERE!”

“YOU'R3 B31NG 4 R34L 4SSHOL3, V4NT4S.”

He frowned at her, hands retreating from gesticulating violently to go back to being wedged in his pockets.

“FINE,” he snapped after a moment of silence. “CARE TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT EXACTLY IT IS THAT I “JUST DON'T GET?”

“1T'S JUST-” The words came from a clenched jaw. “4LL TH3S3 M1X3D S1GN4LS YOU'R3 THROW1NG OUT TH3R3 4R3N'T--” A search for the right word followed by an exasperated “UGH!”

“MAYBE I'M UPSET BECAUSE SHE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T ANY GOOD FOR YOU!” Continual inflammatory remarks were probably a bad idea, and he knew it. Not that it stopped the words from spilling out- ones he had had no idea he was thinking or feeling.

“OH R34LLY. B3C4US3 YOU COULD DO B3TT3R?” There was the raised eyebrow again.

Karkat sputtered. “I--”

“1T'S P41NFULLY OBV1OUS TH4T YOU'R3 COMPL3T3LY J34LOUS 4BOUT 4LL OF TH1S. D1D YOU TH1NK 1 WOULDN'T B3 4BL3 TO T3LL?”

He took a step back, shaking his head, color rising to his cheeks. “I-- MAYBE! MAYBE THAT'S IT! WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!”

She crossed her arms over her chest, studying him with an air about her that Karkat couldn't quite decipher. “SO 1S TH4T WH4T YOU W4NT, TH3N?”

And before Karkat could say anything- correct her, correct himself, make some sense out of whatever the fuck was escalating in his head and rib cage, she had lunged forward, and her hands were grabbing at the back of his neck, and she was kissing him. Kissing was almost too soft of a word to describe it; a rough embrace, hard and sharp and with the force of all the frustration she had built up; a black kiss ripped straight from the definition of the word. 

His base instincts responded before anything else could. He kissed back.

It was a foreign sensation. He could feel her fingers pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck, teeth tugging at his bottom lip. In the frenzy of motion, he failed to realize that she had managed to push him back from where they were standing, until he could feel his shoulder blades being pressed against the wall.

Is this really happening? It wasn't easy to doubt it, not with how warm her body was pressed against his, and the chills she was sending down his spine with the sensation of her fingernails digging into the back of his neck. There was a jolt in his gut as he felt her tongue run over his lip and push into his mouth, followed by another when her teeth sunk into his lip.

“FUCK--” He pulled back, eyes wide with shock, mouth hanging open. There was a bead of blood forming on his lower lip where she had broken the skin. She was hovering close, inches away from his face. He saw her tongue flicker between her lips to catch the blood that had been transferred to her mouth.

“1S SOM3TH1NG WRONG?” The tone of her voice had changed entirely, the exasperation that had been present earlier had melted, changed into something sultry and low and dark. 

“I-” He stuttered, dramatically aware of the heat that was rising to his face and neck. Was something wrong? He couldn't really tell at the moment. Maybe it wasn't right, wasn't what he had been after, maybe there were mixed emotions already tangling themselves up in his chest, but at the same time... “N-NO.... KEEP... KEEP DOING THAT.”

She grinned, and he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not. There was a hunger behind the expression that was just a little too unsettling.

Her mouth was back at his almost all too quickly, voraciously, and there were already waves of intermingled pain and pleasure- already nearly indistinguishable- traveling down his spine and collecting at his core. It was overwhelming- entirely overwhelming, because how the fuck was his body supposed to hold these sensations it wasn't made to contain? And he was wanting it anyway, craving it, a feeling so entirely foreign that it was overriding any semblance of common sense that he might have.

There wasn't any time to wonder what the hell her problem was, what this sudden shift was all about. Because Terezi was kissing him, and lapping up the blood dribbling from his lower lip, and her hands were knotting in his hair and it was too much, all too much already.

His hands had found her waist, clutching at the fabric of her shirt, a desperate attempt to match her pace. Terezi responded by moving from his mouth to his neck, and he could feel her tongue and teeth against his skin, and he inhaled sharply through a clenched jaw.

Her fingers moved from his shoulders to his chest, trailing downwards. He could feel her nails through the fabric of his shirt, entirely unsure of what to make of the spark of pain running beneath his skin. He tried to take hold of her shoulders, to reposition her so he could attempt some kind of control, but she had him held fast against the wall. Terezi bit into his shoulder, and the jolt he felt was almost enough for him not to notice her fingers slipping under the hem of his pants.

“FUCK-” Karkat's breath caught in his throat, his voice emerging as a whimper. “F-FUCK, ISN'T THIS--” Her fingers had found the inside of his thigh.

“HM?” He could feel her breath on his neck, crossing over the scratches she had put there moments earlier.

“THIS IS ALL GOING REALLY-- REALLY FAST, I MEAN.” He swallowed heavily, trying to catch up to his racing heartbeat. “IS THIS-- FUCK, I JUST--”

 

“SHHHHH.” 

Her free hand covered his mouth, fingers inching up his leg, and he closed his eyes on reflex and-- oh god, oh my fucking god-- the pressure of her fingers was just enough to hurt, to give it an edge, and he was responding to the pain.

There was a moan rising in the back of Karkat's throat, and he attempted to stifle it, but she caught it anyway, as evidenced by the glint in her glassy eyes and the curl at the sides of her mouth-- an obvious satisfaction at the extent to which she was affecting him. Her teeth and bottom lip were stained with his blood, a sight which simultaneously triggered a twinge of disgust in his stomach and a strange innate desire to reciprocate. He let his fingers curl into her hair, pulling at it from the root and anchoring her face to where he could reach it. His breath rasped in his throat again as he felt her fingers- still dangerously drawn to his hips-- undo the clasp of his pants.

Karkat was suddenly hyper-aware of the blood rushing southward in his body, and the slow trickle of fluid that was already (already!) making a trail down his leg. He jerked away from Terezi, flushing.

“DON'T WE NEED--” He looked around wildly, hoping to spot some sign of a receptacle handy. “I MEAN, THIS SHIT IS GOING TO GET... MESSY, ISN'T IT? UNLESS WE HAVE A-”

Terezi raised an eyebrow at him. “K4RK4T, 1 4M CH34T1NG ON MY K1SM3S1S DO1NG 4NY OF TH1S. 1'D H4V3 TO B3 STUP1D TO COLL3CT 4 P41L OF 3V1D3NC3 TO L34V3 LY1NG 4ROUND.”

He considered this for a moment, then looked away, embarrassed. “RIGHT. OKAY. I GET IT! JUST- GIVE ME A MINUTE, OKAY?” He turned away from her to pull down and step out of his pants, silently cursing the fact that there was absolutely no smooth way to do it. She watched, amused.

“4R3 YOU R34DY?” There was a smirk to her voice that didn't help the overwhelming embarrassment he was suddenly feeling. 

“I DON'T KNOW! WOULDN'T IT BE AWKWARD TO JUST-”

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, she slammed his shoulders back against the wall. There wasn't time to protest the sudden movement or the bruise that was probably going to form on the back of his head now-- there were her hands snaking under his shirt and clawing at his back, and there went his ability to focus properly with it. He grunted, gripping her shoulders to hold her against him, pressing kisses into her neck. She encouraged him, grabbing at his hair to pull his face downwards.

“YOU DON'T H4V3 TO GO 34SY ON M3, V4NT4S,” she hissed in his ear, and there was a shiver of panic up his spine because he didn't know how to do this, and even if he wanted it, it wasn't right, and he was sure she could somehow sense his sudden fear as if she was a feral animal. He bit her shoulder, wincing at the feel of flesh buckling under his teeth and the hint of iron his tongue was picking up. He had never been very good with blood, especially if it wasn't his own, and maybe Terezi remembered that, because she pulled away, moving downward to his exposed chest instead.

“NNGH...” It was starting to be pointless to stifle whatever embarrassing noises might be being elicited. Mostly, they just seemed to encourage Terezi- though Karkat still wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing just yet.  
Her mouth moved to the base of his rib cage, then further downward to his hips. He gasped, head rolling back, and god, his whole body felt like it was throbbing in anticipation, but she pulled back up instead and grinned at him.

“OH, COME ON! YOU-- YOU FUCKING TEASE!” He spoke through clenched teeth. Terezi laughed, and her body was pressed against his again, and he felt her grind against his leg and oh god, she was getting off on all this too, wasn't she?

“M4YB3. 1F 1 D3C1D3 YOU D3S3RV3 1T.” Karkat grimaced, jaw clenched and rolling his shoulder. Right. Of course. This was Terezi. It had to be as difficult for him as possible, didn't it.

“MAYBE I'D BE ABLE TO IF YOU DIDN'T STOP FUCKING HOLD ME DOWN!” He snapped, grabbing her shoulders and attempting to wrench her around. She actually let him this time, cackling, and pulling him back to her. 

Karkat swallowed heavily, gathering his nerve, then held her with one arm and used the other to slip under her shirt, clutching her chest, her hip, savoring the feel of her bare skin against his palm. She exhaled slowly and audibly, eyelids closed and letting herself slide down the side of the wall. He followed, digging his nails into her hip bone.

He had her on the floor now, and her hands were back at pulling at his hair. She guided his face downward, and he let himself mouth at her stomach and side, surprised by the reactions he was getting out of her. Her breathing, heavy and fast, cued him onward, and he scrabbled at the button of her jeans, clawing at it until he got it open and the fabric slid down her hips. He retracted his hand- already stained with teal, staring at her with a sudden hesitance.

Terezi arched her back, bringing herself toward him, and her fingers tightened in his hair until they were tearing at the nape of his neck. He steeled himself-- praying to whatever divine entity might or might not be out there that he was doing this right-- and lowered his head, kissing up her thigh until he was between her legs.

“OH,” she said, and the way she said it made it suddenly clear that he was getting what he wanted right now, even if it wasn't right and even if the quadrant was all wrong,this, he could be okay with. He clutched at her hips , her thighs, face buried in her skin, noting with satisfaction every change in breath pattern, every sound that escaped her throat, every shift along her spinal column. He was losing himself in the rhythm of it, in the pattern of strokes and what they elicited, and it almost escaped him entirely that maybe he was being too gentle, too soft with her, too red for what this was supposed to be.

He wasn't sure if it was that she had caught on to that part of it before he did, or if she had suddenly decided to deem him 'deserving,' or if it was some of both, but soon she was yanking on his tangled hair to drag him back up to her level, forcing him to turn over and submit to her climbing on top and taking the lead.

She gazed at him for a moment, her expression first a little confused, and then determined, and he shivered under the implications of that look. Her face split into a grin, and then she was pulling herself down his form, nipping and scraping into flesh as she went. She stopped for a moment to focus on the lower part of his stomach, biting down and scraping a gash deep enough to bleed. And he jerked upwards gasping and giving a cry of pain, but that was quickly forgotten because there was her tongue, cleaning up blood and sweat and everything else that was streaked down his legs and between them, and his vision was blurring-- or maybe he just couldn't focus on anything else properly right then-- and he was making sounds he would hate himself for later, and there was nothing but her mouth and the throbbing in his core, and it was too much, all too much, and he could feel it building and his vision was whiting out, and then-- finally-- a release pulsing throughout his everything and his head rolled back against the floor and he exhaled slowly.

When Karkat opened his eyes again, Terezi was standing, redressing herself and examining the residual color on her person. When she noticed Karkat was looking at her, she smirked at him, but there was something off about the expression. 

“YOU PROB4BLY SHOULDN'T ST4Y H3R3 FOR MUCH LONG3R. YOU DON'T W4NT TO B3 C4UGHT LOOK1NG L1K3 TH4T.”

He looked down at himself out of reflex, wincing at the scrapes and bruises along his torso and arms. Some were already scabbing over, but there were some still bleeding-- not badly enough to be serious, but they might give him grief later. Wincing, he picked himself up off the floor, carefully avoiding the intermixed red and teal pooled where he had been lying, and went to tug his clothes back on.

“THAT... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?” He asked, swallowing hard as he redid the button of his pants. 

Terezi turned to face him for a moment, looking a little bit surprised, but then her expression hardened. She didn't answer verbally.

“I'M SERIOUS, TEREZI. I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA WHAT THAT ALL WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAN.”

“YOU'V3 GOT SOM3 SH1T 1N YOUR H41R,” she pointed out, tilting her head. “YOU SHOULD PROB4BLY T4K3 C4R3 OF TH4T B3FOR3 YOU H34D OUT.”

His hand instinctively raised to his head, but even though he promptly discovered that she was right, that wasn't going to be enough to get him sidetracked. 

“I THOUGHT YOU AND VRISKA WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS BIG SERIOUS THING!”

“W3 4R3 4 B1G S3R1OUS TH1NG.”

“THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST--”

She raised an eyebrow at him, frowning, and he shut his mouth, embarrassed all over again. A one night stand, then. Was that what this was supposed to be? His heart sank.

“SO THIS IS IT, THEN?” His voice was low, gruff, an attempt to hide the sudden pain in his chest. “WHAT NOW?”

“1 DON'T KNOW.” 

She wouldn't turn to face him again. He was left staring at the back of her head, brow furrowed, and there was a weight pressing on his rib cage.

“FINE.” He swallowed again, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. “I'M JUST GOING TO GO.”

When he walked past her, she turned after him, and he felt her hand brush the back of his arm. He stopped.

She was looking at him now, and there was a pained expression on her face that he hadn't expected to see.

“TEREZI, I-”

And then, as if he hadn't been impulsive enough tonight, he had grabbed her hands and he was kissing her again. He let instinct take over, trying not to think, trying not to reason. What mattered was showing her what was right.

When he pulled back, she was staring at him, perplexed, brow furrowed.

He stared back. There was a long moment.

She spoke.

“K4RK4T, TH4T W4S 4 R3D K1SS JUST NOW.”

He tried to shrug his shoulders nonchalantly, but something was weighing them down.

She frowned.

“WH4T TH3 H3LL 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO PULL?”

Karkat's mouth opened. The words were there, but he couldn't access them,and even if he could have, they couldn't have made anything better. Instead he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, turning on his heel and striding out the door.


End file.
